"Leave the nightlight on inside the birdhouse..."

Yesterday, my screen door wedged itself shut so tightly that the maintenance man had to come wrench it open for me, after cutting a slit into the screen so that he could mess with the handle from the inside. I thought he had fixed it, and so, apparently, had he. But when I got back from seminar three and a half hours after leaving the house tonight, the door was completely, thoroughly stuck again. I could not budge it at all. I called management and got the answering service, who called maintenance, who called me back.

Maintenance must think I'm CRAZY, after the disappearing bird in the stairwell incident, the smell of death incident, and now the possessed screen door incident. To save the fellow a trip out ("You can't move it at all, no matter how hard you try??"), I offered to rip the screen out--using the slit he cut yesterday--and crawl through. He accepted my proposal ("I've had some experience crawling through windows in my day; I think I can make it," I assured him), and should be coming to really fix it (or rip the wretched thing off its hinges) tomorrow.