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Mpls, MN, United States

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Incidents & Accidents

Monday, November 10, 2008

Native Speaker

Dear Student:

Please note that drawing beveled "frames" in brown crayon around the individual entries for your museum project will not distract me from the fact that you write as though you fell asleep at your keyboard:

This sculpture of Cyprus in comparison to Doyphorus [sic] show cases [sic] a smaller built. The drapery does not show the true shape of his body but you can tell there is not a muscle built the most you can see in comparison to other Roman natural look at all while the hair on his head is a more real but still not as perfectly sculpted as a whole piece.
It also doesn't hide the fact that this entry is nowhere near 500 words, despite the 16 point font.

Sincerely,
Your T.A.
(Who is still such a softie that she has given you a pity grade of a D on the project, though it dropped to a D- since you turned it in late.)

6 comments:

Angela said...

Wow. I haven't seen something like that since working in the writing center. And then it was probably my own.

Today's the date! Have fun!

strovska said...

wow, that writing style is very reminiscent of one of those spams about Augmenting one's Man Meat. maybe the student has a future in composing spam subject lines.

Larissa said...

Wow! That is worse than any papers that I have seen come across my desk...excepting some intermediate ESL papers. It amazes me the people they pass through colleges these days...

Curly Sue said...

!!!!!!!!!

That's a scream. I hope you're keeping a list. I still have mine from teaching. I think I've posted highlights before. It cheers me up when nothing else does.

("The Jews were Hitler's escape goats.")

K L said...

Heh, you should get my 2nd graders to write for museum entries. They could write that guy under the table.

CëRïSë said...

Angela, thanks for remembering, and the encouragement!

Strovska, that's brilliant.

Larissa, my ESL papers have all been of a higher caliber than this one! I'm grading mostly freshman papers, and many of those students never do actually graduate... but, yeah, it is kind of amazing.

Curly Sue, I remember the escape goats! I don't save as many of the gems as I probably should, often just out of fatigue...

And Kuyler, I believe you about your second graders. Plus, at that age, they're still so crazy creative and excited about things!